I heard someone say that the statement I adorn this post with as my title,

After today, really, after the past 5 years and the 35 previous to that.

I am embarrassed to say, I think whoever started the aforementioned Shit about Hope.

Is a liar.

More than likely, as the “self proclaimed affirmation Queen.” I will hold my Hope resentment Until tomorrow, or maybe, as quickly as five minutes from now.

Normative behavior isn’t something I’m good at. I am great at lying to myself.

Lying to myself, and smiling in front of everybody and nobody knows there’s gunfire going off in my head. I’m great at that.

Feeling like a cat on the ceiling or worse feeling like a grown woman screaming a room full of people and nobody can hear her.

And still, so humiliating to say.

I, still, Against all odds and all logic for chrissakes, I still fucking hope.

Turn the page.