The purpose of desiring a better life has taken on a whole new meaning

Instead of this time causing discord, it seems social distancing has reminded us of our need for connection, perhaps we have set our cellular distractions aside. And social media doesn’t quite foot the bill anymore. Socially distancing yourself was acceptable and a status update on what you ate for breakfast pacified you enough so you could delude your brains into thinking we still had real-life relationships.  

This pandemic’s lesson is costing lives, it seems very cold and one hell of a wake-up call. Compassion and human connection and forgiveness that we are all guilty of denying came by way of a pandemic. 

Being told to stay away from each other We are engaging and providing real evidence there still is life on this planet.         and seemingly far less consumed with the latest model of whatever is being dropped next Monday dropped to armor ourselves with what social media allows us to hide behind. 

Dear Mom,

You have no idea how much you’re with me. I think about you and miss you every day. It makes me sad. I wish you could come to see what I’ve made from nothing. Have one of your quilts on my bed. Talk about the business I built from nothing. I’m officially an LLC “J Marcellus Holdings” is the name. I’ve isolated myself in my Loft in midtown. 2 beds and 2 baths. I own my car outright. Have the title and everything. Have car insurance all the grown-up stuff I needed to be”normal” the perfect 8/10 glossy everyone wanted and I’ve done it. Blood sweat and tears. And it all means nothing. If there’s not a family to fill the houses then it’s just 4 walls. No kids to mess up your car, it’s just 4 wheels. No one to say good morning or goodnight to it’s maddening. 

I’ve been trudging this road for one soul purpose. Jack.

Nick wanted me away from my family. I decided to make it easy for you to hate me for long enough Nick believes you do. I decided to make it easier for everyone to throw me away for Jackson. Because he didn’t have any of us. I can’t stand the idea of you watching my son grow and take him places and make memories and I have less than 2 hours a week with him. But every honorable decision has its fallout. This has been catastrophic from the beginning, but I have some peace knowing Jack has you and his Grandpa. 

Nick needs to keep thinking we don’t speak. You have to be strong and keep my son safe and with you. While I finish my project. Nick is already asking if you and I have communicated in any manner. And the answer must remain no not. I have a very good legal team both are great. And they’re working on both ends. On one end July is “D day” the other is going to blindside with a sucker punch. In a little less than a fortnight.

When all of that is over. Things will be much worse for me, but I’m used to the pain. But now I’ve hired people that believe in me and every single thing I said that no one believed to be true. It was. 

Nick hates me and my attorney. He despises her. I’m asking you to hold off on the coffee. It’ll come. And it’ll be really good. I need you to take care of my boy spiritually and tell him about me. Tell him about my writing and wit. And that I’ve never stopped fighting. That I do and have always wanted him and I will be in his life and I love him. And he is the most important thing to me and I’m never going to stop fighting. I’ve been quiet now it’s going to get noisy.

All my love,

Joslynn