I am AnxietyGirl; leaping to the worst possible conclusion in a single bound.

Your Honor,
I stand before this court today, not as a mere statistic or a name on a case file, but as a living testament to the profound impact of the crime committed against me. My life was forever altered on that rainy night, and the scars—both visible and hidden—continue to shape my existence.
The night of the incident replays in my mind like a haunting melody, each note etched with fear, pain, and vulnerability. The darkness that enveloped me was not just the absence of light; it was the shattering of my sense of safety, trust, he was physically in my life for around 4 minutes, but the memory lingers. The pain of impact, the ache of recovery, the sleepless night, the missed workdays—they are not mere numbers; they represent stolen moments, shattered dreams, and a body forever altered.
Emotional Turmoil: But it is the emotional turmoil that weighs heaviest upon me. Anxiety grips my chest like a vise, and panic attacks ambush me unexpectedly. The once-familiar streets now echo with fear, and every stranger’s gaze feels like a threat. Trust has become a fragile commodity, and nightmares weave a tapestry of terror each time I close my eyes.
Financial Strain: The financial toll is relentless. The therapy sessions—the lifelines that help me piece myself together—come at a cost. The missed workdays, the once thriving business and OCD recovery camps I built from the ground up are a distant memory.. The only thing I’ve ever wanted to do was help people, and now I’m the one who needs all the help—the memories of clean clothes and medicine, they form a ledger of losses that cannot be quantified merely in dollars. Yet, I find myself drowning in bills, struggling to maintain stability while the weight of restitution looms over me.
Relationships Fractured: My relationships have not emerged unscathed. I am empty and dissociated I’m unable to comprehend the depth of my trauma.
Sleepless Nights: And then there are the sleepless nights—the silent battleground where memories clash with nightmares. I wake up drenched in sweat, my heart racing, reliving the horror. The darkness outside mirrors the darkness within, and I wonder if I will ever find peace again. I know the sentencing is done and the time will be done as the department of rehabilitation sees fit, and I’m ok with that. But my long story short, while he was able to stay warm and dry, perhaps medicated, and have the three squares and a cot he’s entitled to. I seemingly was doing his sentence. Because of this, it started a bad path and with that catastrophic fall out.
I was too messed up and couldn’t get in my car, or leave my home to go make money, and so I lost it. Completely disconnected from what was happening I was catatonic.. I felt nothing, only panic. I was homeless 8 of the 12 months of 2023, I became ill from the shelter where I got cellulitis that became sepsis that became introduced into my spinal cord and left me paralyzed from my waist down and although I’m better I still can’t feel my feet or hands. I lost access to my mental health treatment and became so sick I don’t remember 4 months of last year . I was found in a hotel bathroom in the corner on the cold floor, I had no shoes no pants and no hair because I had pulled it from my head. After I was found I did two weeks in the ICU malnourished and septic shock was threatening my life  the worst, my boy, 12 year old autistic son lost his mommy for those months I was there physically which if I’m honest I should’ve been kept away, he shouldn’t have seen me so sick.. no one should have. I’m very blessed I was found in that bathroom. The kindness of strangers got me my medications Id lost, access to and health care I needed to save my life.. but I still owe Around 36k in loans for mental health treatment and housing. I never meant for that to happen but I believe this man meant you hurt me.. there’s no other plausible explanation for that night, he wanted to hurt me  Kill me.. I don’t know, and that’s what makes sleep evade me at night.
Your Honor, I implore you to consider the weight of these words. The sentence you pronounce today is not just a legal formality; it is a chance for justice to prevail. May it reflect not only the severity of the crime but also the depth of its impact.
As I stand here, I am not merely seeking retribution; I am seeking restoration. Restoration of my shattered sense of security, my fractured trust, and my stolen peace of mind. May the sentence serve as a beacon of hope—a reminder that the courts stand for the vulnerable, the wounded, and the silenced.