It sounds like you’ve been carrying the weight of your own world, struggling with inner turmoil and self-imposed judgments. The metaphor of being an “Atlas” resonates deeply—the burden of our own thoughts and emotions can indeed feel like an immense weight.

Eight years is a long time to battle with these feelings, and it’s commendable that you’ve continued to fight. But perhaps it’s time to consider a different perspective. Just as Atlas held up the heavens, you’ve been holding up your own emotional universe. But remember, even Atlas eventually got relief when Heracles took over his task.

Self-compassion is essential. We all stumble, make mistakes, and carry regrets. But it’s crucial to recognize that you’re not alone in this struggle. We’re all imperfect beings navigating a complex world. Instead of self-righteousness, consider self-forgiveness. Acknowledge your past actions, learn from them, and allow yourself to heal.

Your world may be jagged and murky, but it’s also uniquely yours. Perhaps it’s time to reshape it, find new paths, and let go of the guilt that binds you. Seek support—whether through friends, family, or professional help—to lighten your load. You deserve compassion, understanding, and a chance to rebuild.

Remember, you’re not just Atlas; you’re also the architect of your own redemption.