I think you forget how great you were.

I was, much different than I am now. I took quite a beating. Things happened and I saw stuff that I can’t unsee. That stuff, it was life altering and no matter how much therapy and work I do on myself the nightmares still make their appearance every night. Desperation alters a person. I know you know how it feels to die a little bit so you can learn how to live. I just kind of remained dead. As alive as I am capable I can’t feel anything anymore except pain. Sometimes I get reprieve, but the feeling is dangerously intense and allows me to make memories. Memories make a person weak and vulnerable, those emotions make you stupid. In my opinion and experience. I am a survivor. I am different than the girl you remember, I had to learn. Even if you prove to everyone he was wrong and a liar and thief and psychotic. And you sue everyone that hurt you and win in all the lawsuits. Nothing changes. No one that matters listens and no one that should care does. All that money is useless if you don’t have anyone to share it with and it never put me back together. I can buy stuff and Jack is good, but he was gone and taken from me, he was damaged as well. I can’t buy that time back. But at least he’s old enough and is asking questions and is 100% aware of the truth. All the bad stuff. He read and heard what was said about me through the eyes and ears of a child, my side he sees and read it through the eyes of a young man. And he wants to hurt people. Positive to know he’s not completely dead in the inside he has a little emotion, he feels anger.