Time to be honest and ask for help.

I have been with my fiancé for 7 years, I have always had a great respect and have cared for him, I have never been crazy with desire for him. I have never felt like that for him, in fact it’s not been an issue because he’s always traveled for work, sometimes three months will pass in between visits. I have become very independent and have made a strong group of friends in his absence. When he comes home it’s been getting more and more forced and gives me nothing but horrible anxiety when he comes over. Now, it’s time to get married, the date has been 19 months in the making.
I am thinking about silly school girl ideals about what relationships should feel like,and also coming to the realization that I haven’t had any intimacy with him in well over a year. No sex or anything of the kind with him. He is my best friend but I am not attracted to him, I have such anxiety when it’s time to see him I can’t even stay the night with him. I am desperate to not hurt him, also I don’t want to break up.
Looking for a miracle here, Do you think HRT would help, is there hypnotic energy or maybe a counselor I can seek? Please help I am freaking out. My fiancé is ‘58M’ and I am ‘45F’ and we’ve been together for 7years. And I am supposed to get married next week. How do you fall in love again? Even in like? I feel more and more like it’s an obligation to marry, not out of joy or love. I feel like I owe him for being with me when I have needed him, it’s like the only currency I have left to offer him, the last stop. Do you marry someone out of obligation and respect? Is there such thing as having someone to love and respect and desire or am I shooting for the stars and then out of the galaxy?