My recovery works better when I utilize, not analyze.
Today I look beyond the immediate moment of satisfaction and decide what is good for me in the larger picture of my life. Today I have faith and patience and can wait to make loving and positive choices.

I am learning, to want the feeling of peace my cabinet brought, to need the pain of hurting myself, to dream about white towels, is a perfectly normal state of being for an addict. But each second, I have my white-knuckled control over my day, eventually makes a day. And each day brings me closer to the health of my body, mind, and spirit. Eventually, ‘craving’ will not be normal, but a thing of my diseased past.
Let me know that the state of yearning, for my DSM-IV axis of choice for that day, will one day be replaced with feeling my true emotions.